Olivia J. Vanhook has been a family caregiver for more than a decade. Her father, Oliver James Williams, Sr. (after whom she is named) was a retired, world-class restaurateur. Her mother, Mildred Adderley-Williams was a retired nurse and owner of extensive property in the Bahamas. In 2002, Mrs. Vanhook’s father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Soon thereafter, he was also diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
Seemingly overnight, life for the Williams family became complex and at times overwhelming. But thanks to their strong faith in God, and excellent organizational skills of their daughter, Mr. Williams lived comfortably until his death in January, 2012. Mrs. Vanhook has always been very close to her parents, making their selection of her as their caregiver a natural extension of the positive relationship they had always enjoyed. It is very common for family caregivers to have health challenges of their own—in addition to taking care of a loved one. Several years ago, Mrs. Vanhook was forced to retire from very successful careers in both a well-known radio personality in south Florida area and real estate due to her daily struggle with an extraordinarily painful, debilitating form of fibromyalgia. Over the years, despite her own disability, Mrs. Vanhook has immersed herself in the “whirl wind” of caregiving. Grocery shopping, laundry, chauffeuring both parents to all sorts of appointments and hospital stays, and coordinating in-home nursing care were just a few of the difficult tasks that Mrs. Vanhook has undertaken with great poise, a special brand of humor and courage. According to Mrs. Vanhook, one of the main reasons why many caregivers experience “burnout” is their tendency to “forget” about themselves and their own needs. “Although caregiving can be frustrating, sad and often difficult, keep in mind that the situation will not last forever. Whether your family member gets well or passes away, there will come a time when you will be able to fully resume the life you had before becoming a caregiver. It is important for your mental, spiritual, financial and physical health to maintain your own life—to the best of your ability. It will decrease the amount of stress you will sometimes feel as a caregiver and guarantee your ability to lead a balanced life after the caregiving part of your life ends.” Mrs. Vanhook resides in a beautiful, gated community, designed for retirees in Pembroke Pines, Florida. In addition to her active church life, Mrs. Vanhook shares her home with several rare and exotic birds. She is also a popular pastor and experienced life coach, spending much of her free time assisting community residents with any issues they might have. In addition to her father passing away in 2012, her mother passed away in 2019 after a brief illness. Like millions of Americans, she is an unsung hero, and we are proud to recognize her selfless service to her family and her community by honoring her as one of our 2022 Good Shepherd Award in the caregiver category. If you or someone you know is a caregiver and would like to tell their story, please email us at info@caregivingyou.org with your story.
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Last spring I had the pleasure of appearing as a guest on the Oprah Winfrey show. Oprah and I are old friends, so it was great fun to have her tease me a little with her interview questions – and for me to tease her back. It was also an occasion to reflect on how far two African Americans had come from their modest beginnings: Colin Powell from a rough neighborhood in the Bronx, and Oprah Winfrey from a ramshackle farm in rural Mississippi. Oprah, in fact, had a steeper climb than I did. Among other advantages, I started out in a home that had indoor plumbing!
Oprah devoted the whole of her program that day to people who had achieved success from scratch. I don't remember all the details about the guests she interviewed but, as best as I can recall, one was a housewife who had successfully marketed her favorite recipes, one who had invented a new game, one built and sold luxury houses on speculation and another had written a best-selling book on financial planning, and two were partners promoting a popular line of fruit juices. Like Oprah and myself, they were different people, from different backgrounds, who had achieved success by different routes. In all, it was an exciting and inspirational program. But in the end, it didn't provide any master plan or simple formula for success that anybody could follow and strike it rich. Oprah, to her credit, emphasized to her viewing audience that building a successful business or achieving a successful career can’t be done without a lot of sacrifice, long hours, and hard work. But hard work alone does not always guarantee success. Native talent and ability, timing, circumstance, and plain dumb luck often figure into the equation. Consequently, I'm not sure I know of any single, universal, hard-and-fast rule for success that I could recommend to young people except for this one: I have never known a successful person who got that way by sitting around waiting for an opportunity to knock. Successful people hustle! They go chasing after opportunities with a club! Sometimes they bag their quarry and sometimes they don't. But even on those days when they return empty-handed, they have at least sharpened their hunting skills, so that they are more likely to get what they want the next time. Truly successful people believe that there's always a next time and they don't give up until they make it. In other words, the first rule of success is to move! That is what I would advise young people to do. Go out and do something! Experiment, explore and challenge yourself. Don't be afraid to make mistakes. We all make mistakes all of our lives, and it's best to make them while you're young enough to derive the most profit from them. As you begin to focus your ambitions and career goals, seek out mentors and role models in your chosen field to help you along. At the present time, I am the chairman of America's Promise - The Alliance for Youth. A big part of what we do at America's Promise involves teaming up at-risk young people with mentors, role models and caring adults who can help give them guidance and discipline they need to build successful lives. But in the end, no matter where you start out in life, where you end up depends for the most part on you. Nobody can carry you to success, you have to toil up the mountain yourself. But when you get to the top – well, there is nothing like the sweetness of that moment. So go for it and good luck! |
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